How do you know if you are ready to take the Real Thirteenth Step?
1. Have you identified and admitted your obsessive, compulsive or addictive behavior and maintained abstinence or sobriety for six months to one year without relapse?
2. Have you completed each of the 12-Steps at least once in a 12-Step Recovery Program?
3. Have you been following your program faithfully for at least this time period?
4. Do you have a sponsor, buddy, therapist, or other knowledgeable person with whom you can discuss your recovery?
5. Do you spend some time each day to meditation, prayer, or solitary contemplation?
6. Are you aware of the difference between your conscious personality and the Higher Power within?
7. Have you learned to recognize and handle successfully the triggers and mechanisms that set off your compulsive/addictive behavior?
8. Have you shared your story repeatedly with others and listened to theirs?
9. Are you able to rely on others for support and ask for help when you need it?
10. Have you had a successful relationship with a sponsor, buddy, or other support person for a
significant length of time?
11. Have you had sufficient therapy, individually, and/ or in group, to heal the damaging legacy of your addiction?
12. Have you severed or limited all relationships with people who supported your addictions and compulsions, unless they are also fully in recovery?
13. Can you say "no" when tempted or pressured?
14. Do you know the difference between instant and deferred gratification, and can you choose intelligently between them?
15. Can you act on thoughtful decision s instead of impulsively reaction to events and circumstances?
16. Do you have a clear sense of who you are and what your goals are?
If you answered "yes' to most of these questions, you are probably ready to take the 13th Step. If most of your answers were "no," you need to do further work within a recovery and learn additional skills you need to complete recovery.